Recently in sleep Category

i dreamed last night that i managed to finally pull together a vacation trip that i'd been wanting to take for a very long time.  i had a lot of troubles getting it all set up, and once i was on the plane i began worrying about all that i'd forgotten -- did i have my passport?  i figured i must have, since i was on the plane.  did i have charger for my phone?  no, i didn't.  did i have clothes, cell charger, and paper for letter writing?  no, not really.  but i had a carry-on backpack full of something.

i worried that on arrival, my hosts would discover things about my heritage and lock me up in a dungeon and nobody would come to my aid.  that was a real problem, and a risk i was going to have to take -- since i didn't think of it until the plane took off.  besides, i figured, i wasn't important enough to warrant that kind of digging, although it wouldn't take much if the government was inclined to be thorough.

oh! i realized with a start that i hadn't told my boss i was going on vacation.  that would be bad, i figured, since he might notice a two week absence.  fortunately, one of my coworkers was traveling as well, though not "with" me, per se.  mr adam burns (ahem), and he had the boss's phone number.  i called him from my cell phone, cursing the fact that now my boss would have my private number, and told him i'd be out.  he said that was fine.

all that settled, i sat back to attempt to enjoy the long flight to iran.

the plane was very large, with few seats per aisle, tons and tons of leg room, and six foot wide aisles.  i got up to go for a little walk and felt the plane landing.  it was way too soon for that.  as the plane came down, i looked at the floor and could see tiled bathroom floor moving aft where the cabin floor should have been.  the plane was no plane at all, just a big metal skeleton full of chairs.  the plane came to a stop and my fellow passengers noticed that we had no crew.  we all went outside to look around, and found we were in a sandy beach-canyon area, with high, sandy sea cliffs and no sight of water.  we poked around in the sand for a bit and went back into the plane.

all our luggage was gone, including my bag that had nothing useful in it, as were our airfares.  it was made known to us at that point (by the dungeon master, i guess) that the people running this "airline" were notorious swindlers and scammers, and we'd been had.  there would be no trip to iran and no refunds.

that dream came to an end and i moved on to one significantly less pleasant.

i zombie-made my cereal, forgetting totally that i was going to have eggs today.

last night i was tormented in my sleep by a demon. he masqueraded as a french language professor, kidnapped me, my wife, a whole group of friends and strangers, and spirited us away to be captives in his farming complex deep beneath the dirtiest streets of san francisco.

i was able to break free, find out his name (it was not azazel, but it was close), free some of the surviving captives, and recover my stolen bike.

when i got back to my home, i was distraught to find that the fackin demon had removed my curly handlebars and given me straight ones.

aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!!!!

there's something i was supposed to do today but i can't quite remember what it is...

1 - forgot to open window last night, having closed it for asshat smoker. woke up to smell of dank apartment. this place doesn't smell good when it's closed up.

2 - dreamt of parents' dog, whom i will see in a week or two. might have been an accurate vision.

3 - it's 7am. where the hell is my sunlight? what is this crap?

i dreamed last night that i was in some sort of scrape, and i summoned the characters from Watchmen.

i pointed them out to whomever was with me at the time, calling off the names i could remember. "There's Nite Owl, there's Hooded Justice..."

Rorschach didn't come. Too bad, he would have been useful.

waking up early is a great idea if i go to bed early.

not such a great idea if i go to bed late.

get it right, internal alarm clock!

sometimes, when i dont get enough sleep, or i'm really tired, or i haven't had coffee, i feel dumb. i don't like feeling dumb, because not being dumb is the only thing that sets me apart from dumb people.

with a folded up damp towel, which, when folded just right, became a laser gun. two guys were chasing after me with operational laser gun towels, while mine was improperly folded and useless, and my best attempts to remember how to properly fold it were for naught, i could not return my folded damp towel laser to its normal, lethal, operational state.

i had called the two pursuers on some bit of bullshit they'd decided to pass off as fact, and they didn't much like that. they'd chased me down long escalators into the city underground, and through subway tunnels dark and long, bepuddled all the way, to a storefront, encased in glass, with a glass dutch door, the top of which was open. they'd cornered me at last.

i tried one more time to fold my towel just right, and failed. and then, as my enemies approached, smirks of victory upon their faces, their laser gun towels raised, armed and aimed at me, rememberd something, and told them:

"Hey, this is just a dream! Your weapons won't work here."

They activated their lasers, and indeed, I was correct on both counts. Their faces turned into mashed potato mounds, with carrots for noses and little beet eyes and smiley mouths made of red spaghetti. I punched them both in their faces, deforming them comically, until I woke up.

i was having a nice jog through a cave/shanty dungeon of some sort, and i heard a kitty, so i stopped to scoop him up, and put him on my shoulder, and continued on my merry way. but then i heard the kitty again, behind me, over my shoulder, from where i'd just picked him up. I just picked you up, kitty! How'd you get back there? I looked and he wasn't there, but he was still mewling piteously, terrified that i'd leave him, my good friend pal kitty, back behind in the cave section of the cave/shanty dungeon, which wasn't all that nice of a place to be left behind in. He was nowhere to be found but the mewling continued!

then I woke up to find that the mewling was my own allergy nose-whistle, penetrating even my earplugs. har! I laughed and went back to sleep.

good times.