Recently in LOLcops Category

the arrest of professor Gates has blown way up, even to the point of clouding the news of health care reform -- which the insurance companies must love. i was pretty surprised that a local incident got a mention from the president -- and even more surprised by his choice of words.

(as an aside: isn't it funny that while the word "legalization" is not in the president's vocabulary, "stupidly" is? i guess maybe the first intellectual president of the last decade doesn't have five syllable capacity in his vocab).

charges of racism are flying around, and cambridge is backing their officer, who appears to have a pretty good community record, particularly regarding race. it could be that he's a racist, it could be that he's not. it could be that Gates is the racist. all of this misses the larger picture, which is totally independent of race: a man was arrested in his own (proven) home, after asking the police to leave, apparently on the charge of mouthing off.

reporters bloviate hundreds of words about the arrest, including quotes from police at all levels claiming that no misconduct occurred, and yet no mention is made of the disorderly conduct for which Gates was handcuffed in his own house.

Obama comes close to raising the issue: "I think it was a pretty straightforward commentary that you probably don't need to handcuff a guy, a middle-aged man who uses a cane, who's in his own home". But the president clouds the issue by throwing in descriptions of the man. The simple fact is that it's outrageous that the cops can come into my home, when i'm all alone, and arrest me for harming their sanctimonious ears.

it makes no difference whether a man in his own home -- alone, unarmed, presenting no danger to his neighbors -- asks the police politely or rudely to leave. once asked to leave, if there's no actual crime being comitted, the police should leave.

this is pretty fucking clear, i think:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated.

People have a right to be secure in their houses. Saying "fuck off" is not a crime, even if it's said to a police officer, even if he's got a long and distinguished record.

Everyone throwing around race in this issue is doing a disservice to the American people -- who are not secure in their houses from unreasonable arrest.

An American demanded an unwelcome visitor to leave his house, and was hauled off to jail for the words he used in so doing. That's a disgrace.

The incident provides a vivid example of how the countless video recordings generated today by security cameras and cell phones are affecting police work.

Wrong.

The incident provides a vivid example of how the countless video recordings generated today by security cameras and cell phones are affecting police work make it harder for cops to get away with shit.

And they sure don't like it.

nice one

In drug cases, more than 1.5 million samples are analyzed by state and local labs each year, resulting in more than 350,000 felony convictions, national statistics show. "Even if only 5 percent of drug cases culminate in trials, the burden on the states is oppressive," a group of state attorneys general wrote in a brief for the case.

My goodness, how will the poor, poor states deal with the oppressive burden?

How did they ever manage to lock people up in the past?

Hey, wow, this is neat, too:

Last month's Supreme Court ruling emerged from a case in which Luis E. Melendez-Diaz allegedly stashed cocaine in a Boston police car while he was under arrest. The certificate of analysis, determining that the white powder found in the car was cocaine, was entered without a technician's testimony and with only minor objection.

That's right, cocaine in a police car must have been planted. I am speechless with irony.

"I think the effect of this could be very, very bad for public safety," said Fairfax Commonwealth's Attorney Raymond F. Morrogh. "If we are not able to use this evidence, which is reliable, but it's excluded because we can't get the technician here, the guilty will go free. It's a real challenge for us to deal with it."

I see what you did there! "comma, which is reliable". Oh yeah? Because you say so? Justice Alito seems to think that it'd be better if you had to actually prove that it was reliable. You know, like "build a case" around your evidence, not just skip all the way past step 3.

After all, when The Man says technology is reliable, he's always right and has our best interests in mind, eh?

(I'm surprised to find myself agreeing with Alito, but then, I didn't read his full decision. Maybe I've missed an ugly bit.)

ireland's worst driver

Death rates returned to previous levels in the second year. The UCSF team says this was probably because police changed the way they used the stun guns after the first year.

the article has a nice little sidebar:

Thank you, Michael Phelps. Your latest "youthful transgression" provided the opportunity to teach my kids that role models are best chosen from those you know well, not those you know through a TV screen, writes Pat Forde.

really? like who?

your pastor?

your bishop?

officer friendly?

your teacher?

the truth is, the people you "know well" in person are probably bigger assholes -- and probably far more dangerous to your kids - -than michael phelps. you think michael phelps never smoked pot before this picture was taken?

maybe he could have won ten gold medals if he hadn't been a stoner, huh?

or maybe you've been lied to about pot, and you're perpetuating a kleptocratic police state.

but seriously, no way to find anything in phelps that would make him a role model? how about the responsible use of drugs and alcohol? after all, he hasn't harmed anyone, and he did win a medal or two, so it seems he hasn't harmed himself -- isn't that responsible?

and isn't responsibility something you'd want in a role model?

maybe you'd prefer someone who is widely respected and always follows the rules?

Olympic superstar Michael Phelps could face criminal charges as part of the fallout from a photo that surfaced showing the swimmer smoking from a marijuana pipe at a University of South Carolina house party.

End the bullshit.

Charge America's greatest-ever Olympic athlete and try to put him in jail.

See what happens.

"The bottom line is, if he broke the law, and he did it in Richland County, he's going to be charged," Cowan said. "And there's no difference between Michael Phelps and several other people that we arrest for the same type of a charge everyday."

BWHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH.

Yeah, I bet you arrest and charge tons of octuple-gold-medal winners, everyday.

Winners don't do drugs. Uh huh.

Lott played the part well. He wore stylish suits and had long hair then. He drove a Porsche seized from a drug dealer and even worked undercover with federal agents in Florida.

One of these men worked hard his entire life to be the best in the world. The other uses taxpayer guns to steal property for his own enjoyment.

Which one's the criminal? Which one's the role model?

"I am not even sure, on the basis of what I hear here, there was a justification for arrest at all," [Provincial court Judge] Reilly said. "If you do not have an established right to cuff him in the first place, he's got every right in the world to resist."

vs.

Police in the US can now present evidence obtained based on incorrect warrant information.

oops, the computer told me to search you.

i saw a memorial on steven's canyon road today, which i forgot about until moments ago. it was an elaborate one, the kind that people set up on the spot where someone dies in a car accident. this one had pictures of a cyclist, arms raised in triumph, with medals around his neck.

ugh.

even more ugh. i think i remember reading this when it happened.

and: fuck you kcbs:

allegedly.

RIGHT NEXT to the picture of the patrol car PLOWED INTO THE HILL on top of mangled bicycles, and the spineless news retards think they need to say "allegedly"?

no reports anywhere of how the trial went, except that the deputy pled "not guilty" and the DA said "all we have to do is prove he crossed the double yellow".