done, no thanks to youtube or sony

at a body weight of 226, i reached my goal of a 405lb deadlift.

the careful reader will note that the original goal was for a set of five. i did a single. it was good enough for me to consider the goal "reached" and make new plans.

405 was my goal because it's 4 45lb plates (the big ones) on each side of the bar, but since i don't have 4x45, i had to make due with the less photogenic 2x45, 1x35, 1x25, 2x10, 2x5:

did the bar bend? I don't know. at the last moment, my mind said "you can't do this", i told my mind to fuck off, and i pulled it with effort to spare (but not enough to spare on a double, heh).

let the record show that I did this with no damage to my shins:

no shoes, no pants, no straps, no wraps, no belt makes this a no-no-no-no lift. yay.

i pulled the weight to the Yehat Theme from star control 2. usually I lift to infected mushroom, but this seemed more appropriate. i can tell you: youtube does not make it easy to play a playlist, and even worse, it is impossible (as far as a dumb powerlifter like me can tell) to put a song on repeat. i was attempting to play the song via the PS3 so I could enjoy it through my stereo instead of my laptop (in other words, hear it). The PS3 has a real crappy browser, and youtube has a real crappy PS3 (or HD or whatever) mode that makes it even more impossible to skip around in a playlist.

Altogether, it was an entirely unsatisfactory experience trying to get one god damned song to play to help me pull the weight.

however, I have commented before here on harnessing The Power Of Pissed Off, and I suppose the frustration at the near impossibility of enjoying a 20 year old song for 3 minutes on state of the art technology contributed a little to my brief struggle vs. mean old mister gravity.

In the past, one of my failings was an expectation of perfect training conditions. i'd try to optimize my meals, my sleep, my training hours, everything, and if anything was amiss, I'd use that as an excuse for failure.

this time around, I planned non-optimal conditions into my routine. in fact, this entire year, I've been lifting on the notion that I want to be able to make my deadlifts in a "matter of fact" fashion, without grunting, fanfare, or theatrics. you know, like my buddy here. that's 390 kilograms, not pounds like me.

so when I stepped up to the bar after suboptimal sleep last night, with suboptimal music technology to assist me, on the border of both an anxiety attack and a stomach spasm (my treacherous mind and body tag-teaming to fuck me up), and then, at that very last moment, when the little voice told me "you can't do it", I was ready. it doesn't get a lot less optimal than that, at least not for me (since I'm not training in, say, Kandahar, and it's unlikely that I will be). Despite all those little irritations, for me, it was just another day, another deadlift.

deadlifts have been on my mind. I've made that pull a thousand times in my mind's eye. I talk about deadlifting. I practice my deadlifts in the shower and getting off the can. I dream about deadlifting. Two nights ago I dreamed that I was loading up for the 405 but I ran out of plates. So I grabbed some fruit salad to make the weight, but the chunks of pineapple and melon kept falling off the bar. What was I to do!? Wake up, I guess. Anyhow, my obsession has paid off to the extent that I've reached my goal, but it is nonetheless an obsession, and i have again become unbalanced force.

I note with amusement that then I said what good is a 400lb squat if i can't enjoy ice cream?.

I don't have a 400lb squat, but I do have a 405lb deadlift, and you'd better believe I'm going to enjoy some ice cream PDQ. But alas, I must balance my forces and return to a more equalized state, where I don't abstain from things in fear of screwing up tomorrow's lifts. I've done the lift I wanted to do, and now, I'll spend a couple of days figuring out where to go from here.

now, if you'll excuse me, i must get back to my regularly scheduled week long panic attack. the euphoria of lifting is wearing off and the stress of recovery is setting in. also, i have to hit "Replay" in the goddamn youtubes to hear this song again.