forkbeard

yesterday while enduring a bout of forced antiquing, i ran into a nerd with a felt cowboy hat buying another felt cowboy hat, presumably both antiques, since we both were, at the time, inside an antique store.

the nerd gave me a double take, then could no longer restrain himself and told me i had a cool beard. here, though, is where this fine young nerd distinguished himself from the legions of other adoring fans of my facial hair: he added, with much nerdly gusto, which is to say, in complete monotone: "there was a viking named Sven Forkbeard who had a beard like that."

the antique shopkeep, not to be outdone, offered these facts: that her father had been unable to grow a mustache, but when he did, it came in blond, like a German, in contrast to the dark hair on his head.

altogether, it was a successful trip to the antique shop. in addition to two fascinating bits of beard historical mythology, we succeeded in not buying any furniture or hawaiian shirts.