whelp, there's my metric half century or: lies, damn lies, and gps readings

today's ride could not have been more different than last week's. i got home after 33.9 miles feeling happy, refreshed, and energized. there were many differences which i think led to this difference, i shall detail them all because i have nothing else to do while i ice.

first off, i called in some cooler weather. as always when messing with the weather, you can only get boned, even if you get what you want. sure, it was cooler, but i also had headwinds on each of the "major" hills of my ride which should be impossible since they all face different directions. i hate headwinds more than i hate hills, which i hate more than produce from safeway, which is to say: a lot.

even with the wind, though, i think the cooler weather helped me a lot. even more than that, though, i drank a lot more water this time. i finished both bottles of magic pixie dust drink (increases VO2max! no, really! honest!) and most of my camelbak. i was well hydrated throughout.

the route was similar to last week's, and i bagged all of the "hills" i wanted to do last week, though i skipped de anza and substituted ralston. the major difference between the routes was the order of the hills. instead of doing alameda last, when i was tired, i did it first, so i could be tired for the entire rest of the ride. more importantly, i planned the route beforehand, even though i altered it near the end (and prayed i did not alter it further!). the route: my place to alameda, alameda to ralston, ralston to ralston trail, ralston trail to cañada, cañada to woodside, back to 92, 35 up to bunker hill, bunker hill to polhemus, down ralston (whee!), and then a leisurely and dangerous finisher down ECR to my home. i nearly got killified in front of a cop. how nice would that have been!

anyways, surprisingly, the leg from bunker hill to the top of ralston was relatively easy. that's usually right at the beginning of my ride and it's hard. the ride down BH is not exactly "restful" (it's short) and the ride up BH is killer for me, so i was tired when i got to polhemus. maybe i was "in the zone". i dunno. for that matter, BH wasn't as hard as it often is. i squirted some caffeinated clif goop into me, which i didn't do last week, which may also explain my uplifted spirit.

finishing on ECR instead of finishing by climbing de anza and alameda and their awful short, steep hills also probably helped the cause. in short: route planning, route planning, and route planning.

finally, the things that made the most difference: last night i had a hefty dinner, an awesome belgian beer called "nostradamus", and a good night's sleep. also, plenty of solder fumes.

so, enough with the reasons, here are the pitiful numbers:

distance: 33.9 miles
average speed: a shameful 13.9mph
average cadence: 81 rpm, nice!
ride time: 2:25
total time: 2:37
total climb: 2245 feet

that last bit is the real bad news. i took my spiffy gps-with-barometric-altitude-sensor on my ride to find out just how wimpy are the hills i climb. no true roadie would be caught dead with such a hefty handheld gps on his bike, but i recalled a bit of wisdom from either bible or some bike blog i read some years ago, which said: why do you look at the speck of extra weight on your frame and not see all the weight in your big fat lard ass sitting on it? also: something about a plank.

i was quite disappointed when i finished the first hill, flea street to ralston, and found out that it was only 540 feet of elevation gain. but i was pretty happy as i was climbing up ralston: i previewed it by car yesterday, and curiously, it felt much more torturous in the car than it did on the bike. it had me seriously intimidated last night, but today, i made it up without problems (which is not the same as "easily", sadly).

okay, hold on a minute. after some googling, it seems that 2245 feet of elevation gain is not too wimpy for a half century. sure, lance gains more elevation than that when he farts, but for a mortal, it's apparently pretty respectable for a 30 mile ride.

hey, just like bender, i may be even more awesome than i thought!

if i ever get my bike rack back, maybe i'll head up some roadie routes in palo alto.