relax, grin: let the changes in

how far i've come since i first heard those words.

still they echo in my ears, and in my soul, and as they reverberate throughout my room now, these words of sage advice are no less impactful now then when i first heard them.

how far i've come since then.

you have not betrayed your ideals, your ideals betrayed you.

when i think of how i've wanted to live, how i've steered my life, such as it is, such as i could, these past two decades, i am as content as i should ever be. my ideals do indeed betray me: i cannot hide behind something i think i want to be, because i can still see me.

i am so that i will be.

i am not sad when i think of the loss of what i might have been because i will not be that, i am sad because i have lost sight of what i mean to be.

relax, grin, let the changes in.