on symbolism, agains: lengthy theoretical monologue

a large portion of the cumulative brainpower of humanity is permanently or partially devoted to squeezing meaning out of experiences, whatever "meaning" may happen to be. we, as people, want to believe that life is not a pointless endeavor, and that "at the end of the day", when life ceases, there was some purpose -- or if not a purpose, at least some symbolically extractable non-concrete interpretation of events. in other words: meaning.

example:

Roman #1: Hey, you hear about that dude they nailed to a tree?
Roman #2: Yep, reckon he died.

example (this time, with symbolically extractable non-concrete interpretation of events) :

Roman #1: Hey, you hear about that dude they nailed to a tree?
Roman #2: Yep, reckon he was a bodily incarnation and only-begotten son of the everlasting, all-knowing Creator God of the Jews, came to Earth to appease his vengeful Father for the inheritable sinful willfulness of our ancestors by sacrificing Himself in our place.
Roman #3: Well, you would believe that, Roman #2, wouldn't you, since you are incapable of interpreting events symbolically, and thus missed the possibility that the King of the Jews story is just a recapitulation of the older Egyptian mythology of the dying and resurrecting god, itself symbolizing the spiritual rebirth of Man-initiated who recognizes the duality of his lower and higher selves.
Roman #1: Hey, what's for lunch?

And so on.

It could be a dude nailed to a tree. It could be a God man nailed to a tree. It could be a story allegorizing the process of Mystery initiation. Or it could be a dude nailed to a tree.

I, personally, haven't found much satisfaction from letting others dictate to me the proper symbolical interpretation of my life's events, and I certainly haven't found much enjoyment in recognizing the strong chance that "meaning" is nonexistent. To that end, I use symbolism, interpretation, and the generation of Meaning as tools to enhance my own life and put a smile on my face.

Because whether or not Meaning, God, Eternity, or Love exist in the Cosmos, a smile on my face is a good thing to have.

And so it is with great joy and amusement that I have gone about crafting potential ceremonies for my own marriage. And the punch line is this: whatever silly-ass ceremony I come up with, and whatever silly-ass subset of that actually gets performed, will have much more meaning (in which I don't really believe) and power (in which I most certainly don't really believe) than the alternative, Off The Shelf solution.

First, a bit of history that I have not researched in the slightest.

Marriage, I suspect, is older than religion. Over time, the meaning of marriage has evolved (in the strict, scientific sense of the word, no less), the implementations of marriage have diverged across cultural lines, the ceremonies, the societal benefits, the post-ceremonial ways-of-living. All are different now than they were at "the beginning". But one thing that has remained constant, I reckon, is the desire for a marriage to last. Okay, perhaps not once it has begun, but at least, that's the desire at the heady, foolish beginning of all (well, most) marriages. Presumably, before the "I do"s are exchanged, the couple has already agreed to everything that they'll agree to during the ceremony. So beyond custom, beyond tradition, beyond making parents happy, beyond wedding registries: why bother having the ceremony at all?

It all comes back, of course, to "meaning". Humans are suckers for ceremonies, because ceremonies give "meaning" to events. Birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, funerals, bar mitzvahs, communions, reunions, baptisms, goofy fraternity/fraternal initiation rites: all ceremonies designed to inject meaning into events that might otherwise be meaningless.

But more than just infusing events with nebulous meaning, or providing an excuse for beer and liquor (as if an excuse is needed!) some ceremonies bring something additional to the table: force. Nuptials, BMs, baptisms, communions, shamanic initiations, even the ceremonial signing of a contract; all these are designed to lend the kid-tested mother-approved force of ceremony to ensure that the participants really mean it. A baptism is just a bath, but with a priest present, the bather is supposed to really mean it. A wedding is just a rehash of old agreements, but the ceremoniousness of it all is supposed to ensure that the couple really means it. A promise is just a promise, but a nuptial is an eternal bond. Right? Right.

Why are there guests at a wedding? I can't speak to your wedding, but I can tell you why there will be guests at mine. But first, I slight digression (surprise!). When designing a ceremony, a quick and easy way to increase the force of the ceremony is to add witnesses. In fact, witnesses are so important to initiation ceremonies of all kinds that within the "magickal community", if you haven't got any friends and have been doing a mail order course in hermetics, you can always get the folks who cash your checks to be present "astrally" as you self-initiate yourself.

huh?

Non-participants are present at ceremonies to decrease the odds of backsies. You don't want to look like a lying jerk to your friends, do you? You don't want to be seen as a liar by all those people that heard you promise eternity to your new wife, do you? It's easy to sin when no-one is watching, so if you're going to have a ceremony that has a promise or two, it's prudent to have witnesses.

But there's even more to it all than that, as I see it. Earlier I mentioned "power". To the extent that I believe in things (nothing to fear, Donny, this man's a nihilist), I currently choose to believe in such things as "power" and "the force" and all kinds of silly gnomes and mysterious faeries that imbue us and the world around us with magical energy. Or something like that. Think of it this way: we can imagine (and probably dig up statistics to lie prove) that a child raised in an abusive, inhospitable household will have a tougher time growing into a wonderful adult than one raised in a nice, happy home. Surrounded by not only yelling and hitting and swearing and anger, but also invisible "negative energy" day in and day out, the first kid has to work harder to "make it" than the one surrounded by "positive energy".

Too cheesy an example? How about this one: try infusing yourself with "negative energy" (go on, you know how to do it) next time you step up to the bar and attempt a max deadlift. Think you'll make it?

Not silly enough? When my beer is a-fermenting in the closet, I choose to believe that thinking happy, positive thoughts about it, talking to it, and spending some daily Quality Time with my bubbly, closeted friend results in a better tasting beer. Does it "work"? Who cares? What does work is that I've thereby created a universe in which that sort of thing does work, inhabited said universe, and become happier for it. After all, the kind of universe where thinking happy thoughts about beer makes better beer is just the sort of universe where I want to live. And if all that stands between me and such a place is a smidgen of belief, that is truly a small price to pay.

Likewise with the guests at a wedding. In addition to shaming the participants into taking seriously their vows, the non-participants lend "positive energy" to the proceedings; by their happy thoughts (hopefully the couple has carefully selected their guest list) they get the wedded couple off "on the right foot." The guests are the "positive thinking" that make the max deadlift go up. The guests are closet-whisper that make the marital brew malty and delicious.

As far as the rest of the wedding ceremony, it's all clever tricks and wink-wink nudge-nudge symbolism intended to put a grin on the faces of those in on the joke. And now that I think of it, that's a fair description of life itself.