what a manly chest you've got mister manly man

i just saw a picture of a dude on a boat on a river drinking beer from a "beer bong". he had a better developed chest than i've got.

my only consolation is that i can probably hike farther than him. and run farther. and squat more. and i've got a better girlfriend than he's got. and i'm probably smarter than he is. i drive a better car than he's got. i can make beer and he likely can't. i can program in more languages than he can. i can read more natural languages than he can. i can laugh without a beer in my hand, and i can get laid without a beer in hers. i can converse intelligently or at least humorously on a wide range of subjects. my toes are more dextrous than his. i know how to build a shrine, an altar, and a makeshift shelter. i can pass traffic school with 100% on my final exam.

and i don't ever fucking drink bud lite. not even out of a beer bong.

okay, i guess i don't have just an "only consolation". i feel better now. <sucks in gut>