why i can't ever have ice cream in the house

if i'm in the sort of mindset that would allow me to justify eating a single spoonful of ice cream, i'm also in the exact same mindset that would allow me to justify eating the whole pint. i have the sort of excellent self control that allows me to go years on end without any ice cream at all, but once it's in the house, it's out of my control.

i will eat it.

the whole gorram pint.