time travel

i like to re-occupy my memories.

not relive them, reoccupy them. i realized this morning that this is something that i do.

i go back to the same places and re-experience them through different eyes, mine or someone else's. natrually, i only go back to places that i like; i don't expect different company to help me enjoy, for example, vegas.

i re-engineer situations to echo past situations in my life, then re-occupy the experience with my new self and avoid the mistakes of my past.

i made a mistake a couple of months ago. i suggested that i and the mistakee should re-create the situation and this time i'd not make the mistake.

and then, this morning, i realized that not only is that kind of a weird thing to suggest, it's also something i tend to do again and again. the desire to recreate my past sans mistakes is part of my personality, evidently. in 3 days i'll be going back to my fortress of solitude, re-occupying a familar place from my past with my current mind and soul, and with company. to relive the experience of being in my fortress without making the mistake of solitude.

i have a couple more things planned that follow this same pattern.

part of it is simply that i have places that are special to me, and now i want to show those places to the person that's special to me. nothing particularly strange about that. i guess the difference is that i put some effort into re-creating not just the place but also particular experiences -- specifically, mistakes -- of my past, in order to have different outcomes based on my more recent desires and knowledge.

i dunno what to make of this.