why i've felt like crap lately, and why it will only get worse

i missed my allergy injection.

immunotherapy. been on it for 5 years, never missed a shot as far as i can recall.

i was down to once a month when the allergist informed me that because I'd switched PCPs my insurance would no longer cover shots with him (the allergist). my choices were to switch back to the shitty PCP that I'd just left or go with my new PCP's allergist.

i thought of a third alternative: finish off my last vial of syrum (which would cost me 2-300 buxxors to replace) at 35 bucks a shot (i.e. a month, as i said above) and then quit the shots.

i'm not going to get any more cured than i am now, after five years of this crap.

so i was down to once a month, setting my cell phone to tell me when the next shot should be. it's easy to remember to go in twice a week like i was doing in year 1. harder to remember once a month, especially when i've got a life (which i didn't in year one).

so i forgot. i just realized it yesterday. that explains the burning eyes, the stuffy head, and probably even some of the crappy nights' sleeps i've been having.

so i decided: fuck it. if I go back now they'll drop down the dosage and make me come in once a week for 3 or 4 weeks (hey, I guess i *have* missed a shot before, otherwise i wouldn't know that, right?).

i'm done. i'm as cured as I'm gonna get. my PCP said he'd write me prescriptions for my allegra (without which I am a total invalid) so i have no more use for the allergist. i'll keep my 35 buxxors a month and spend it on kleenex and eyedrops.

and when i say "i'm as cured as i'm gonna get," what I really mean is "not much at all". yeah, i'm better (measurably -- I had them do another skin test last year) than when i started. but i still feel crappy when allergies hit, and they hit me year round. indoors, outdoors, it doesn't matter. and it doesn't help that i like to be outdoors, and that when i'm outdoors i tend to be inhaling deeply (hiking up hills and running). screw it. i decided long ago not to let my allergies keep me inside or in bed. now i'll find out if i'm able to keep my money where my mouth is.

whatever that means.