you've changed, man!

i used to be alone all the time.

mostly because i didnt have the kind of friends that hang out together after work and i didn't have a girlfriend. now i've got a girlfriend but still no after-work friends.

so i used to be alone. whether i liked being alone or merely tolerated it is debateable -- i would say then and now that i liked it, but quite honestly, that may have been self-delusion then and mis-remembrance now.

it doesn't matter.

now, though, i don't seem to like being alone. i used to come home and read, i don't want to do that now. i want to be with people doing... stuff. i want to be around people and i feel kind of nervous that i'm alone.

it's a strange feeling.

i'm going camping by myself this weekend. i'm a bit nervous about that: i suspect i may freak out out there, all alone (sorta -- i reckon the campsite will be somewhat crowded) and in the dark (sorta -- i have plenty of flashlights and i'm damn well gonna make a campfire this time). i freaked out camping with a paly-wal the second to last time i went camping. funny as hell the day after, but not so pleasant the night of.

the point: i'd rather be camping with than without -- something i never would have guessed a year ago.

plus, today i got an ipod mini and i like it a fargen lot. i'm even beginning to kinda like itunes once i arrange my HDD in a way that it is happy.

i'm all weird and stuff.