hike

so.

so so so.

I went on a hike today.

For the last... five? weeks, this has been a weekendly event. I like that. I like that a lot. A couple years ago I went on a hike when I visited my parents hoose. At the time, I vowed to go on lots of hikes on the weekends because I liked it so much. I bought some boots. I bought some more boots. I wore them to work. I did not hike.

So now I'm hiking. Often. And enjoying the hell out of it. And thinking of extending my hiking into backpacking and overnighting. I'm fuckin rugged now. I shave with a safety razor, beeyotch.

The most extraordinary thing aboot this week's hike, though, didn't happen this week. W wants to join me next week at the same site:

despite the fact that I warned her of its relative difficulty. My girlfriend likes to hike. She didn't hike much before she met me. I like that a lot, too. I'm going to buy her some fancy-schamncy hiking socks tomorrow so she won't get blisters this time.

(aside: I asked W this morning which coffee brewing method she thought would be best for a lightweight backpacking trip. She suggested pourover drip, which I had considered. I had come to the conclusion that turkish coffee would be good. I think it would involve the least amount of gear, assuming I wasn't taking a mug already -- turkish coffee is drunk from a demitasse which is considerably smaller (hmmm.... though not necessarily lighter) than a mug. my lovely girlfriend knows more about coffee than most gits, and she doesn't even drink the stuff.)

I told her that she'd probably like this hike because of the isolation from civilization and the abundance of nice scenery.

i also told her about the banana slugs. I thought i was special because I saw one on my last hike. But this time, I saw more banana slugs than trees, and I was in a freaking redwood forest all afternoon. Here's a particularly gross one. Check out the slimetrail, like jabba the hutt or a beltway politician. Keys included for scale reference. I didn't want to put them too close in case he jumped. This wasn't the biggest banana slug I saw today, but it was the biggest one up until the point that I took the picture, if that makes any difference, which it doesn't, but I thought you'd like to know anyhow, and if you didn't want to know, you know it now, and, as they say, you can't Un-Know it. Hah!

I was in the Santa Cruz mountains, it seems, even though I wasn't especially close to Santa Cruz. Based on the abundance of Banana Slugs in the SC mountains, it seems clear why UCSC has the BS as its mascot.

Speaking of forests, did you know that I am allergic to forests? I'm allergic to cities, also. I'm allergic to everything. I brought some kleenex, but most of the nose-goo ended up on the sleeves of The Green Shirt. The Green Shirt was originally The White Shirt, many years ago.

I am not a pleasant sight on a hike, or during any sort of physical activity. I sweat a lot. I have me paw to thank for that. If I'm outside or inside, I also get a runny nose. I have me maw to thank for that. But I'm a pretty physical guy, now. I have me self to thank for that.

I've already got all the girlfriend I want so I really don't care how icky or goofy I look out there on the trail. I saw someone goofier than me, and he was with a big group of fellow Asian hikers pimped out with the latest fashions from REI and Sportmart. He was laying on the ground stretching his legs before his hike. He had to put down his Trekking Poles first. Heh.

I brought more water this time : 4 times as much as last time, in fact, for a shorter hike. But it turns out my water requirements rise in proportion to the amount of water that I bring with, to the effect that I again was thirsting mightily by the end. I consider it good form to end a hike with water to spare, so I had several mouthfuls left in my hiking-jug when I got to the one-galloner in the blahmobile. I fear that I will never be able to do a true "lightweight hike" as I shall always be hiking with three gallons of water strapped to my back. Wilderness overnighter? There'd better be a crystal geyser vending machine.

This hike was informational. I found out what banana slugs eat.

The resemblance to beltway politicians is truly stunning.

Heh.

Heh heh heh. Heh heh heh heh heh.

I contemplated the redwoods. I considered how old they were and thunk to myself that I'd rather see a centuries-old redwood than the canals of Venice -- one being Creation, the other merely a creation. I did the At-One-With-Nature thing and I was digging it. Then I saw this (click it to get the big version) :

I thought, "Wow. A second chance." This is something the canals of Venice will never do.

I saw lots of other cool stuff but didn't take many photos. Here's the last one for today: fallen redwoods. The photo doesn't even begin to do them justice. They were truly massive.

On the way back home I got a bit philosophical, as I am wont to do. You can read about it in a subsequent blog entry. This one needs to end. I think from now on I will rate my hikes. Rating follows.

Hike Rating:
- Length : 7 miles : B
- Banana Slugs : A+
- Pants-Tucked-Into-Boots : A-
- Hills to Run Up Like A Von-Trapp : D-
- Redwoods : A-
- Secluded Off-Trail Locations : A
- Distance-From-Civilization : A
- Scenic Drive : A
- Dorks with EA shirts : F(ack those guys)
- Dorks with Tevas : F(ack those guys too)
- Proof-of-Waterproof-Boots : B
- Steep-Forest-Banks-To-Scale-And-Slide-Down : A
- Horse-Crap-To-Step-In : A (not much)
- Variety of Climates/Ecosystems : B
- Scenic Vistas : A
- Holy-Crap-Oh-Wow moments : A-
- Wait-A-Minute-This-Isnt-A-Trail-After-All-Is-It? moments : B+
- Girlfriendability : A (this may change next week!)
- Gloves Required : B-
- Dirty Pants : C+
- Kicked My Ass : C-

Overall : A-