bleh

seems like every time i put my mind to doing something, i sooner or later run out of steam and lose my way.

well, i've decided (or maybe "finally maybe really convinced myself") to make a big change. a daunting change. an intimidatingly large and sweeping change. but it's something i've been whining about doing for a long time, and it's best to just do it while i'm still young and resilient.

ironically enough, now that i've finally got what it takes to Just Do It (tm), I find that it's just as difficult as it ever was, but for different reasons.

whereas before I simply worried about losing hard-earned ground, now I worry about losing what really matters. what i can't rebuild.

the bonds of my past were all in my mind, but now that i have broken (some) of them, I find myself bound by other, stronger strings.

the challenge, now, is to keep my momentum and (finally) proceed as i (finally) dare to plan, yet keep close to me what i hold dear.