wow, a 45 minute whine

the bush that i was beating around :

1) i'm freaking cold
2) i've been alone - one way or another - all my life
3) maybe i have grown to like it that way
4) you can take #1 in any way you like. remember that my patio door is open and it's probably about 40F outside.

did i live alone all that time out of (twisted) necessity, or because i enjoy being alone?

can i really change me, or is "new me" an illusion like everything else about me?

wait, don't answer that.

an answer will kill a future. let it lie, and let the paths of illusion in both directions last as long as they can. let the dreams continue.

today i didn't even have to use my ak.
i gotta say it was a good day.