odd feelings on the road

a strange feeling came over me on the N 101 this friday as I drove "home".

i am losing all associations that i may have had with the word.

in the span of one week, i had slept (or planned to sleep) at these places :

- my parents' home in palm springs
- my friend's parents' home in oxnard (notice that i know how to use apostrophe's)
- my girlfriend's home in oakland
- my own place in san mateo
- my friend's home in antioch (didn't end up doing that)
- a hotel (didn't end up doing that)

none of these places felt like "home", and at the same time, all of them did.

i've been seriously considering getting a new, smaller, cheaper place - since i now spend comparatively little time here. tragically, due to my terminal indecision, i'm unable to move out.

still, now, when i ask myself "where is home?" there is no obvious answer, and i think i like it that way.

the fewer things that i have, the less i have to lose. the less i have to lose, the less i have to worry about. and the less i have to worry about, the more i can focus on the important things. (this notion was clumsily alluded to in "resurrection".)

this is one of the cornerstones of """the "new me" revolution""", though it may not have been obvious. i am becoming the minimalist that i've always meant to be.

except in my writing, of course, where i have chronic oral diarrhea.