my first starbucks

for xmas, W's mom gave the two of us a starbucks gift box, containing whole bean xmas blend, some hot choco mix, and two kinds of cookies. by the time i got back to the bay, all but one of the shortbread cookies were gone (damn!).

when W told me what her mom had gotten, i put on my coffee snob airs and tried to be cute. "coffee snobs don't drink starbucks," i said (truthfully), or something to this effect. naturally, this was interpreted as ingratitude.

doh.

i may be a coffee snob (and a beer snob (and a grammar snob (and a grocery store snob (and maybe some other kinds of snob, too))), but i try not to be a selfish, ungrateful asshole.

whether i meant to be, i was, and i'm sorry. before the whole world (more precisely, for both people who read this (counting me)), i publicly apologize.

as i later explained to W, much to her surprise, i have never had starbucks coffee (that may not be totally accurate, but I will swear under oath that I have not had it more than twice. "never" is a dangerous word), just as i have never had budweiser, coors, miller, or the like (to this, I will swear under oath - excluding that one sip of bud-light my dad gave me when i was a kid).

as i explained, half-jokingly, to W my greatest fear was that upon tasting the starbucks coffee, i might find that i like it. this would surely be a breach of the coffeesnob contract.

i would lose my license.

now.

on to the tasting.

12 oz water was boiled on the stove in my saucepan. 2 SCAA scoops of starbucks 2004 christmas blend was ground with my solis maestro plus dialed in to halfway between "drip" and "esp", brewed with my #4 filter cone, "moka-brown" paper filter, and dripped into my brand new "grumpy U" coffee mug.

on opening the bag, i was not overwhelmed by the aroma of the beans, as i am when opening a bag of any of my own freshly roasted coffee. (score one for me).

likewise, the grinds did not emit the strong aroma of freshly roasted coffee that i get when grinding my own home-roasted beans (even after resting them 3+ days).

the coffee didn't bloom as much as home roasted, either (under the moniker "home roasted" i also include "craft roasted" coffee, such as barefoot roaster's beans).

so, vacuum packed starbucks coffee = not as fresh as home roasted. duh.

the aroma of the brewed coffee is also not as strong as home-roasted.

now, for a sip.

it's darkly roasted (duh, it's starbucks). "taste the bean, not the roast," say coffee snobs. in other words, don't roast the beans so dark that the individual regional characters of the beans are burnt away. in my own roasting, i prefer lighter roasts. i may not be as snobby as a real coffee snob able to pass a double-blind taste test and identify the regional beans in a cup of coffee, but i *am* able to say "this coffee is different from that coffee". i verified this over xmas with a cup of kona vs a cup of oaxaca.

blah blah blah.

back to the starbucks.

it's kind of weak. with the same amount of beans and water, my home-roasted kona produces a much more flavorful cup. the main characteristic is, as i mentioned (i think), the roast. this tastes like "dark roasted coffee", but not like any of the cool things that a decent palette can discern in a complex cup of coffee ("earthy", "toasty", "chocolatey", "nutty", etc.). it's decently balanced, i guess, not terribly bitter (surprising at this degree of roast) and not acidy (not at all surprising at this degree of roast). i don't drink a lot of blended coffee, mostly just single-region beans or espresso blends. consequently, i am not used to "balance" or "mildness". in fact, i'm bored by these things. i want boldness, bite, excitement. you know, like this

i've said it seven times already, and i'll say it again : i taste the roast. in fact, i can't really taste much else. peets also roasts very dark, but with peets, which i used to introduce myself to coffee, i could taste regional notes - or even blended excitement (dickason!). not so here.

ooh.

i think it's irritating my stomach. some coffee does that, and some (most?) does not. i haven't figured a way to predict which will and which won't. there doesn't seem to be a pattern. then again, maybe it's just my lunch.

overall : not as bad as i expected, but fortunately, not as good as i feared. definitely not as fresh as i am accustomed to, leading to weakness in aroma and flavor. probably better than grocery store brand or maxwell house or whatever, but i wouldn't know ;) i wouldn't turn down a cup of it to stave off caffeine withdrawal symptoms, unless there happened to be a cup of home/craft roasted kona nearby.

in the future i'll be a more gracious givee instead of a snobbish arsehole. there's a difference between being a real snob and an affected, ironic snob. the latter is my aim, nobody likes the former.