xmas happiness

sent an email yesterday to a former coworker who - tho he probably didn't know it - changed my life in major ways. i would not be lifting weights today were it not for him, and if we want to be honest here (and why else are we here?) were we not lifting today, we would still be college-days-sainttoad. not so nice.

sending him an email had been on my todo list for months, i'd just been putting it off because... the same reason he's been putting off writing to me. it's kind of uncomfy cold-calling (or cold-emailing) someone you haven't talked to in years, no matter how close you used to be.

he wrote back right away. i should have done this earlier.

it turns out he's living the dream - his dream, which wouldn't be a dream for anyone but him. living in a small small small town in UT, building houses and restoring old ones, crawling around in the mud and sleeping in the back of a truck (this guy did QA/programming in the silicon valley for 10+ years). raising his family. he's as happy as he could be, other than the business-owner's-ulcer he's got. still, that's better than the silicon-valley-stress that he left behind.

says who?

says he. and me.

i need to hurry the hell up and figure out something like that. i postponed my departure a while back because that was the cop-out thing to do.

layoffs are coming in january. does it make sense to want and fear something at the same time? yes, it does.