that awful, wonderful question

"what are you thinking?"

fair enough.

but it's tough. it's tough because i'm bound by a rule, self imposed, and strengthened when i said "i love you":

i will never, ever lie to you.

but i never want to see you sad, or mad, or anything but smiling.

so what do i do when i know that what i'm thinking will take away your smile? there's a conflict.

if i haven't got a spare thought handy ("whew, in addition to that ugly thing, i was also thinking about butterflies. tell her about that."), there's not much that i can do. i can change the subject, or i can lie.

but i won't lie.

so i'm sorry when i make you upset, and i don't want to do it, but it will likely happen again. i wish you'd stop asking that question, because i will answer it honestly.

don't stop asking that question.

most of the time, the answer will be "i love you," and you'll never have to worry about whether i mean it.