a problem of terminology

now that likealot has turned to love (due to a crisis of terminology) i find myself in yet another crisis of terminology. fortunately, this one is merely amusing, not actually important.

a "girlfriend" is someone you have to stay with instead of going bowling with your buddies.

a "girlfriend" is someone who makes you run errands you don't want to do.

i haven't got a "girlfriend", it seems... what have i got?