hair goop roundup

so i've been using american crew styling products, because that's what they gave me in the salon. i don't have any of them in front of me so the weights may be off in absolute terms, but not in relative terms. here's the lowdown:

styling lotion : what they originally gave me. not on the website, as far as i could tell. 12 bucks for about 8oz. good hold, not a whole lot of shine. rub the hair to disable the effect, hair feels kinda normal. smells nice.

styling gel, firm hold : 12oz for 10 bucks. colonel's extra crispy recipe. when rubbed out, hair feels kinda sticky icky. firm hold, as advertised. about as shiny as the lotion. smells like a pepsi commercial waiting to happen.

fiber : 10 bucks for about 4 oz, holy crap! unfortunately, this is the stuff i like best. good hold, but not crinkly. how does it do that? magic. tragically, when rubbed out, the hair is extra extra thick (my hair is thick enough already) and kinda... gunky. not sticky icky, but just a little unnatural and creepy. did i mention this stuff is expensive? smells nice, though. i think it's the beeswax or something. time for a buzzzzzz.